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Motivation

Find Your Motivation

00Featured news, KonMari Method, Motivation, Self careTags: , , , , , , , , ,

MotivationI’ve been staring at a blank page for over a month trying to write about finding your motivation. The irony is that my motivation took a dive after researching how people stay motivated for my Simplicity & Joy Course. What I found really shook me up. It turns out that motivation is really about self care. Now that I’m a mom I don’t feel like I have time for much in the way of self care, and moms need it the most. What I found out, and what I realized, is that to create a joyful life we must care for ourselves first.

My plan for the workshop was to have a list of all the things people can do to stay motivated to complete their home tidying project. My initial list included practical actions such as: create deadlines; use a checklisthelp others; remember why you started; schedule swaps/yard sales or donation pick ups, etc. After completing it, I had the sense that something was missing. There was some key element, some catalyst that was not there. So I decided to dig a little deeper.  I came across a list that, as it’s final entry, had a phrase that struck me: practice extreme self care.

This phrase really made me think.  I started to notice how rarely my cup is full enough to give as much as I do. So I decided to act: instead of writing about motivation, I focused on taking care of myself.

For example, I’m finally going to cash in the gift card for a facial that my husband got for me for Mother’s Day.  Up until now, I’ve felt too busy to use it.  But no more- I’m going to take care of myself, too.

The things we do to take care of ourselves don’t need to be extravagant.  They can be small and simple.  The other day I was preparing food for my daughter’s summer camp lunch. While I carefully sliced the apples and put cinnamon on them I thought: “how lovely it would be to be so well cared for.” So instead of just taking the other half of the apple to work with me unsliced and not cinnamon adorned, I cut it up for myself and added the sprinkles of cinnamon. Such a small gesture of self care felt lovely.

But even these things are not enough.  Self care, at it’s core, is about healing our hearts. And to do this, I’m going to the local Hand in Hand parenting support group.  At this group parents take turns completely listening to each other talk about the joy, hardships and heartaches we are facing.  It is not easy to do – we deeply feel and express our emotions – but it is powerful medicine. I come home to my family more capable of being the mother and wife that I want to be- calmer, kinder, patient and a little more playful. The group meets weekly and if I miss a gathering I really miss it!

So with this in mind, I decided to create a new list.  This list is designed to build the foundation of your motivation.  It will serve not only to get you going, but to sustain you – to keep you motivated to reach your highest potential.

Self Care for Motivation

Sleep – I know it’s hard, especially with young ones, but when you have enough sleep you have energy and can function. Your overall health depends on having enough sleep. Everything in life is better when you feel rested.  Do whatever it takes to get enough rest.

Meditation supports a sense of well-being in many ways. It can help you to let go of negative emotions and positively transform your dysfunctional thinking- making space for a joyful mind!  Find a meditation style that you are comfortable with and meditate daily.

Nature – Take time to get outside and into nature. The fresh air, the green and blue, and the pure beauty of the earth helps put things into perspective.

Connection with others makes life meaningful. The more connected you feel, the happier you are. Meet a friend for tea or make that phone call you’ve been meaning to make. Reach out to your people and feel the love.

Support –  Knowing you are not alone, that you are loved gives you strength to move through the joys and heartaches of life.  Find a support group online or in person. Notice the people who lift your spirits and hang out with them more.

Emotional release heals your heart. So you can heal the world. Find what moves you- a tear jerker movie (Steel Magnolias always gets me), a therapist, a support group. Let the tears flow.

Play helps you lighten up and be in the moment- to let go in the best way possible. There are a million ways to play. Dancing is one of my favorites- I’ve been loving the Michael Franti station on Pandora lately- great positive vibes!

When my husband wants to go mountain biking or mushroom hunting, I do whatever I can to make it happen because I know when he has taken care of himself he is way more awesome to hang out with-he is happier and healthier, and that affects everyone around him. I can see that clearly with him and I feel it for myself, but am still working on letting go of my own blocks around taking time for myself. Note to self: Stop feeling guilty for making time for you. It helps to know that my daughter is watching and learning from my actions.  I’d like for her to see me taking care of myself (and being way more awesome to hang out with, too)- so she’ll know how it’s done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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KonMari My Husband's Perspective

KonMari: My Husband’s Perspective

00Written by FredTags: , , , , , ,

KonMari My Husband's PerspectiveI have to admit, when I first heard about the KonMari method, I was skeptical.  I loved the idea of organizing and getting rid of lots of things, but I didn’t believe that following some methodology in a book could really work.  After all, if we were motivated to get organized, what was stopping us?  Just jump in and start throwing things away!  And if we weren’t motivated, how could reading a book really help?

 

It turns out that KonMari works on an entirely different level, one that I hadn’t even considered.

 

The fundamental idea behind the KonMari method is to approach each of your possessions one at a time, hold it, and sense whether or not it ‘sparks joy’.  If it well and truly does, then it is worth keeping.  If not, then it is time to thank it and let it go.

 

The reason this is so important, and the reason it works, is because it allows you to approach each thing you own from an emotional level, rather than an intellectual one.  This emotional connection to our possessions has a two-fold effect.  It enables us to authentically determine whether or not we should keep something – we can always mentally justify holding onto stuff, but there is no fooling our heart.  The other effect, the true magic of the KonMari method, is that it forces us to get rid of some of our emotional junk, just as we get rid of some of our material junk.

 

This is a perfect illustration of two way causality, and one that I had not thought possible.  It’s obvious that our internal emotional mess can manifest in too much stuff – just think of the extreme case of a hoarder.  I had always thought that to ‘cure’ hoarding, or to be able to get rid of things that we are emotionally attached to, we’d have to do the underlying emotional work first, and then we’d be free to get rid of the stuff to which we were attached.  Until Christine went through the KonMari method, I had not realized that it can also flow the other way: we can get rid of the things that emotionally bind us, and doing so simultaneously cleans up our internal mess as well.

 

All this did not come in a flash.  It took time to figure out, and that time was not an easy one.  And how could it be – really going through the KonMari method is equivalent to therapy, and therapy is messy and difficult.  Few people I’ve ever met are really eager to begin a therapy session, but they universally agree that, having done the work and dealt with the mess, they feel better, and their lives are easier and more enjoyable.

 

That is what I’ve observed in our house, during the process of KonMari.  It was not easy, but Christine approached it with powerful determination and energy, and it worked.  Our house is neater, and our emotional lives are lighter and more free.  And that, ultimately, is what KonMari is all about.

Guest Post written by Fred Salisbury aka my loving husband. When I asked if he wanted to write about our KonMari experience this is not what I expected to read, I am happily surprised! I hope you and your partner take inspiration from his words. 

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