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KonMari My Husband's Perspective

KonMari: My Husband’s Perspective

00Written by FredTags: , , , , , ,

KonMari My Husband's PerspectiveI have to admit, when I first heard about the KonMari method, I was skeptical.  I loved the idea of organizing and getting rid of lots of things, but I didn’t believe that following some methodology in a book could really work.  After all, if we were motivated to get organized, what was stopping us?  Just jump in and start throwing things away!  And if we weren’t motivated, how could reading a book really help?

 

It turns out that KonMari works on an entirely different level, one that I hadn’t even considered.

 

The fundamental idea behind the KonMari method is to approach each of your possessions one at a time, hold it, and sense whether or not it ‘sparks joy’.  If it well and truly does, then it is worth keeping.  If not, then it is time to thank it and let it go.

 

The reason this is so important, and the reason it works, is because it allows you to approach each thing you own from an emotional level, rather than an intellectual one.  This emotional connection to our possessions has a two-fold effect.  It enables us to authentically determine whether or not we should keep something – we can always mentally justify holding onto stuff, but there is no fooling our heart.  The other effect, the true magic of the KonMari method, is that it forces us to get rid of some of our emotional junk, just as we get rid of some of our material junk.

 

This is a perfect illustration of two way causality, and one that I had not thought possible.  It’s obvious that our internal emotional mess can manifest in too much stuff – just think of the extreme case of a hoarder.  I had always thought that to ‘cure’ hoarding, or to be able to get rid of things that we are emotionally attached to, we’d have to do the underlying emotional work first, and then we’d be free to get rid of the stuff to which we were attached.  Until Christine went through the KonMari method, I had not realized that it can also flow the other way: we can get rid of the things that emotionally bind us, and doing so simultaneously cleans up our internal mess as well.

 

All this did not come in a flash.  It took time to figure out, and that time was not an easy one.  And how could it be – really going through the KonMari method is equivalent to therapy, and therapy is messy and difficult.  Few people I’ve ever met are really eager to begin a therapy session, but they universally agree that, having done the work and dealt with the mess, they feel better, and their lives are easier and more enjoyable.

 

That is what I’ve observed in our house, during the process of KonMari.  It was not easy, but Christine approached it with powerful determination and energy, and it worked.  Our house is neater, and our emotional lives are lighter and more free.  And that, ultimately, is what KonMari is all about.

Guest Post written by Fred Salisbury aka my loving husband. When I asked if he wanted to write about our KonMari experience this is not what I expected to read, I am happily surprised! I hope you and your partner take inspiration from his words. 

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Behind the ScenesRevised

Behind the Scenes of “Tidy up with KonMari”

00Featured news, KonMari MethodTags: , , , , , , ,

Behind the ScenesRevised

When Gina Lambie Kruger announced my Facebook group that she was going to have Marie Kondo film the KonMari process in her home, I knew I had to be there. Luckily, Gina is the friendliest person ever and was happy to have me, especially since she had a lot of work to do behind the scenes! I can’t believe I flew across the country (SFO to NYC) for this.  Before reading her book and doing the KonMari Method in my home, I wouldn’t have considered such an adventure. It’s a good illustration of how much personal transformation is possible thanks to Marie Kondo’s book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.  Leaving my daughter and husband behind was the hardest part. The rest was exciting, educational and fun! I was glad to have a big adventure and lend a helping hand.

 

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Good morning NYC!

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We had lots of work to do in order to prepare for Marie Kondo’s next tidying session with Gina. To keep track of it all we used the Checklist I designed for busy moms.

IMG_5421Of course there was plenty of folding involved. Following Marie Kondo’s advice for getting older children involved by folding their clothing, Gina instructs her son on the folding technique.

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He’s a pro at the KonMari fold!

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Next up: Sock Mountain!

We sorted out the joy and folded the kids socks. Then we had KonMari Consultant, Keiko give us a lesson on sock folding and storing. It’s not about one exact way of folding, it depends on the container you are using for storage. Keiko first tried folding the socks in half, but then decided they needed to be folded in thirds. Like Gina mentions in the show, the folding doesn’t have to be one specific way – it can be “your way also”.


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Here’s a big folding surprise:

Marie Kondo chose to hang Gina’s Jeans up in the closet.  Here is quite literally a KonMari’d closet.

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My only claim to fame on the show was the brief moment you see the shoe racks in the closet: yes I put them together.

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The Queen of Tidy is on the scene. She is perfectly perfect.

IMG_6984That day they filmed the tidying lessons of books and papers. Here are some of the tips straight from Marie Kondo:

  1. When doing the book category yearbooks would be considered sentimental.
  2. Catalogs that you read like a book can be included in the book category.
  3. Cookbooks can be stored in the kitchen while other books are stored in a book shelf.
  4. Books should be stored vertically and by category.
  5. For paper, she suggests keeping only the essential ones – its less about joy and more about need.
  6. One should think of the reasons for why you keep each paper.
  7. It is best if each family member has a separate file for their papers.
  8.  Store actionable papers vertically, so you will be more likely to take action.

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In Brooklyn it is easy to find new, joyful homes for books. Around the corner from Gina’s house is a mini library. We brought her discarded books to it and they were gone almost before we could add them to the collection!

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After a lunch break, which was delicious New York style  ricotta pizza, of course. Then there was more work to be done. A house doesn’t KonMari itself ya know!

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It was a true pleasure to get to know Gina and her family, to help her with the tidying process, to see New York and visit some of my friends. What a gift be so inspired and to create a the possibility to fly across the country to have an adventure of a life time. Of course the mission was to meet Marie Kondo and witness her in action. She is pure kindness and joy. I am grateful to have found her books and to have been touched by the magic of tidying up.

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In the conclusion of the show it’s a wonderful surprise to see all the clear surfaces which were once totally cluttered. I especially loved seeing Gina and her family happily playing music in the corner, connecting joyfully in a place in the house which was once inaccessible due to clutter. It’s all about making space for the people and activities that Spark Joy in your life.

If you are interested in seeing the show, it is available until May 23rd.  You can see it here:  http://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/vod/konmari/20160507.html

 

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